This week’s Torah portion, Lech L’cha, has a plot line that is disturbingly relevant. Abram’s nephew Lot is kidnapped and Abram drops everything, and heads directly into danger without hesitation to rescue him. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about why, and how people decide who to prioritize, who to care about, stand up for, and risk their own lives for.
Most people say they value all human life equally. And while that is noble from a values perspective, the truth is that with close to 8 billion humans on this planet, it is not physically possible for any one individual to care for, let alone know about, all the people on this earth who are suffering.
There is a really powerful text that illustrates this point. The text explains that there is simply too much suffering in the world for any one human to help every person in need. We can still have empathy and concern for those we know we will never know, but we all have limited capacity and therefore must make choices around where we put our love, energy, and support.
When we know that two people are about to die and we can only save one of them, how do we know who we are supposed to save?
The text teaches the following. First, we must save ourselves. You can’t put on someone else’s oxygen mask if you are unconscious. (That particular anecdote isn’t in the Talmud) After that, comes our immediate family. Our partner, parents, siblings, and children. Next, extended family. After that, our neighborhood, our local community, and then Jews around the world.
Many people were kidnapped, so why did Abram only rescue Lot? Should we judge him for not trying to save others?
This text doesn’t mean we should stop caring for non-Jews. God forbid!! Caring for one’s family first is not an excuse for cruelty, and it is certainly not an excuse to celebrate someone else’s suffering. But it does make us question why so many value the suffering of strangers over the suffering of neighbors. Why is this happening? Where is it coming from? It is also an opportunity for introspection, encouraging us to ask: Who is in our inner circle, and our second and third ring? And why?
